It can be very frustrating to lack a clear vision of what we want.
We feel lost. We feel like we are wasting time. We feel like we are missing out on opportunities.
Today we are going to tap for that feeling of knowing that we want better and more, but have no clue what better or more looks like.
Not knowing exactly what we want and moving from goal to goal can feel very unsettling and at a certain point the feels like we are just spinning our wheels because we aren’t getting anywhere.
Today we are going to tap for those times where indecision feels like it is getting the best of us.
As we work towards our goals it’s usual to come across many new skills that we need to learn. When this happens it can feel like that we don’t have enough time to do everything we need to do, much less find the time to master new skills.
Today we are going to tap for feeling overwhelmed by how much we feel like we have to learn in order to get everything done.
It can be really hard when we lose our way. At first we think we know where we are going. We might even have a really good idea where we are going.
Along the way we learn things about ourselves and our goal and when this happens it provides clarity.
Other times it just raises more questions than we had when we began.
Today we are going to tap for when we lose touch with what we want.
One of the things that holds us back is our need to be perfect. The part of us that wants to be perfect wants us to stay safe. When we are perfect we can’t be criticised and we don’t have to do anything again.
We will NEVER be perfect so as long as we hold on to needing to be perfect we will never be able to act.
Today we tap to know that, “It’s OK for me to take imperfect action, now.”
Imperfect Action
(audio 3m05s)
There’s a part of me that wants to be perfect…There’s a part of me that wants to get it exactly right…Because if I get it exactly right…Then it’s going to be easy for me to be successful…Because if I get it exactly right…Nothing can possibly go wrong…So there’s a part of me that’s going to prevent me from acting…Until I know I can do it perfectly…It’s going to wait for more information…It’s going to wait for me to have more skill…It’s going to wait for a more perfect environment to make a choice…But the truth is…I need to be able to take action…In an environment that’s imperfect…By someone who is imperfect…Because there’s never going to be exactly the perfect time…And I’m never going to be exactly perfect…And if I wait for the perfect time…And if I wait for me to be perfect…I’m never going to take action…I give myself permission….To know that it’s OK…To make an imperfect action…At an imperfect time…In an imperfect way…With imperfect knowledge…And even if it doesn’t work out perfectly…It’s possible to have it work out great…There have been lots of times where it worked out great…Where it was far from perfect…I want to be good…I want to be successful…And I don’t need perfect…To be good and successful…I give myself permission….To make choices…From an imperfect space…With imperfect information…With imperfect skills…And an imperfect moment…Knowing I can make all of those things work out.
Dealing with uncertainty is really tough. Often we find it easier to respond to situations that are consistently bad than those that are inconsistent and unpredictable.
When things are inconsistent we are constantly on guard and spend a great deal of energy looking out for change which makes it hard for us to move forward in a meaningful way.
Today we are going to tap for times of instability and working our way back to balance.
Struggle With Stability
(audio 3m53s)
When things are unstable…When things are in flux…It’s hard to make choices…It’s hard to move forward…Because there’s that part of me…That is really worried…That if I go rushing forward…Into this unstable environment…It’s going to be harder for me to be successful…It’s going to be harder for me to achieve what I want…It’s going to be harder for me to move through the world…In a way that is known…Which will lead to my success…But I recognize the fact…That the world is not always stable…That there are variables that are unknown…And there are things that could change in a moment’s notice…And I give myself…And my entire system permission to know…That it’s OK…To step into places…That are unstable…And contain unknowns…I give myself permission to know I’m not going to know…With a 100% certainty…The best and right choice to make…In each and every circumstance…This doesn’t mean I’m going to be thoughtless…This doesn’t mean I’m going to go rushing in…It simply means…That as I step into this…And as I step into the world…I’m going to do in such a way…That I’m going to honor the inconsistencies…And the things that are unstable…And I’m going to make choices…And not simply stand on the sideline…I’ve handled inconsistency before…And I can do it again…Just because things are unstable…Doesn’t mean I can’t act…Just because things are unstable…Doesn’t mean I can’t know what’s right for me…I give myself permission…To thoughtfully…And carefully…Make good choices today…In the face of instability…Knowing and trusting…I’m completely capable of doing…Exactly that.
One of the challenges of a process like this is feeling like we have to know exactly what our goals are before we start.
We feel that if we don’t know where we are going, we will head off in the wrong direction and end up wasting time and effort.
Today we tap for being stuck because we need a perfect plan.
Not Clear Goals
(audio 3m17s)
There’s a part of me that’s worried…Because I don’t know where I’m going…And I don’t know exactly what I want…I’m worried that I’m going to head in the wrong direction…That I’m going to waste time on the wrong things…That I’m going to get lost and not find my way back…That because I don’t know where I’m going…I’m going to make lots of mistakes…But I give myself permission…To know that it’s OK…To not have a perfect plan…To not have perfect goals…To not have everything planned out…My goal list is a work in progress…And as I move forward…And as I try new things…I’m going to learn things about myself…And I’m going to learn things about the process…And that’s OK…Because with experience…My goals are going to get sharper…My plans are going to become more refined…And as I move forward…I can enjoy that process…Even if I’m not heading in the exact, right, perfect direction…It is a process…And that’s OK…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…And easy with the process.
“Quit” feels like a bad word. When we quit we feel like we have failed. We feel like we are letting ourselves down. We feel like we are letting others down.
I have worked with clients who had a hard time quitting smoking because quitting equaled failing.
There are lots of things we do that we need to quit. Today’s tap along will help you let go of the things that are no longer useful and need to be quit.
Permission To Quit
(audio 3m35s)
There are things in my life that were useful at one point…But they no longer are…They might not serve me…They might not challenge me…They might not even be good for me…And I’ve done them for so long…It’s what I do…And if I let them go…It feels like it’s letting go a part of me…It feels like I’m letting go a part of my image…It feels like I’m letting go who I am…And it might have been who I am…But it was who I was…I’m new…I’m different…I have permission to let things go…I have permission to quit things that I have done…Quitting feels like a bad word…Quitting feels like failure…Quitting simply means, I stop spending my energy…On something that is no longer useful…I give myself permission to quit…Things that are no longer useful…Things that are no longer helpful…Things that are no longer healthful…Quitting is not failing…Quitting is simply letting go of that which is not necessary anymore…It’s OK for me to quit…I am not a failure if I quit… it is OK for me to quit.
There are times when I feel like I am a great big fraud! That I have fooled everyone around me for a long time and any moment now everyone will see through all the smoke and mirrors to see who I truly am.
In reality the people around me know that I am not perfect, despite my best efforts to make them believe that I am.
If you feeling like a fraud and that others are going to find you out, this is a great tap-along for you.
Feeling Like A Fraud
(audio 5m35s)
I’m worried that everybody is going to see I’m a fraud…In one moment, they’re going to recognize who I truly am…What I’m truly capable of…They’re going to recognize that they’ve been mistaken…And who they thought I was, was a lie…That I’ve been able to successfully fool them for years…There are times I’m insecure…There are times I’m far from confident…There are times when I’m far from perfect…And people see me for who I am…I’m not fooling everyone all the time…There are people in my life who know I’m not perfect…There are people in my life who know that I am flawed…And they love me anyway…And in many cases love me because of it…Even though I’m not confident all the time…Even though I don’t act perfectly all the time…I’m not a fraud…I’m not perfect…
I’m doing the best that I can… And it’s OK for people to see me for who I am…I don’t expect others to be perfect… And others don’t expect me to be perfect…They’re not going to find me out…Because there’s nothing to find out…I am imperfect…And others know that…I am imperfect…And others do love me…I will continue to be imperfect…And others will continue to love me…I choose to be easy with myself today…I can continue to strive for more…And I choose to be easy with myself today…I can continue to move forward and I choose to be easy with myself…I am not perfect…I won’t be perfect…And I can love and accept myself when I’m not perfect…Even when I feel like a fraud…I love and accept myself…I love and accept myself…Even when I feel like a fraud…I am imperfect…And that’s OK…I give myself permission to be OK with being imperfect…
On Tuesday’s call we talked about how to tap for something when you don’t have a clear focus on what you are tapping for.
Here is a quick little tool to use when you don’t know where to start.
Don’t Know Where To Start
(audio 2m44s)
I want to heal…I want to move forward…I want to release this issue…And for some reason, I can’t get the information from my system…My system is holding on to this information…And hiding it from me because at things that’s so helpful…My system thinks it’s making it more safe…By not revealing this information to me…I know my system wants health and well-being…And when the time is right, the information about this issue will come forward…So I can continue that healing process…I trust my system…I trust the process…I trust the information will come in due time…When I need it…I also recognize I don’t need to understand the issue…In order to release it…Even though there’s a part of me…That so desperately wants to understand…So it can prevent it in the future…I give myself permission to release without understanding… Because releasing and healing is my number one goal…