We want our loved ones to support us and to be happy about our progress and success.
But there will be times when they just don’t get it. They don’t understand our goals or they don’t understand why they are important to us and this lack of support can influence our willingness to take action.
Today we are going to tap for those times when our loved ones don’t take our goals seriously.
It is good for us to recognize all the gifts we have in our life. The fact we have time to think about making our life better means that we are very fortunate.
There are times when our thankfulness can get the better of us and start to feel like guilt because we have so more than others. When this happens wanting more in life can feel greedy.
Today we are going to tap for those times we feel greedy for wanting more than we already have.
It is easy to get excited about our goals and how our life is changing. But not everyone is trying to make progress in the same way and sometimes those close to us feel self-conscious about their own lack of progress.
Today we are going to tap for when our loved ones feel judged by us when we share our goals and progress.
(more…)
When we are successful chances are that we will stand out in the crowd. This can feel really scary because when we are noticed it opens us to more scrutiny and criticism.
Today we are going to tap the fear of what could go wrong it we start to stand out because of our success.
Making progress is really encouraging. We feel better about ourselves and it gives us momentum to take more action.
One of the side effects of our success is that others may raise their expectations of us.
This can be both flattering and feel like a burden. Part of us can be fearful that others will expect this new level of success from us all the time.
Today we are going to tap for the fear that others will expect more from us if we succeed today.
It would be nice if everyone in our lives were as committed to our success as we are. And our loved ones might even say out loud that they support us.
But there will be times when our success makes our loved ones feel uncomfortable. They might feel like they are failing because they haven’t had the same success. Or they might feel that our success is making us “too big for our britches”.
If we feel like our success will have a negative impact on our relationships with loved ones then it’s possible that we will hold ourselves back so as not to cause them pain.
Today we are going to tap for the way others may react to our success.
Others Won’t Like My Success
(audio 4m50s)
I want to be successful…I want to achieve this goal…Because I know this goal will improve my life…It will make my life richer…It will make my life better….And when my life changes…In one way…It ripples through the rest of my life…It touches other parts of my life….It impacts all the relationships I have…There will be times where this is a really good thing…My growth will encourage others…My transformation will be a model for others…My moving forward will create that positive rippling effect in others’ lives…There are going to be other times…Where my success will challenge others…Challenge them in a way that makes them uncomfortable… Challenges them in a way that makes them uneasy…Challenges them in a way where they have to look at their own lives…And recognize it’s not moving forward…And when this happens…It is possible that they will lash out…Sometimes in direct ways…And sometimes in passive-aggressive ways…But it’s going to be obvious…That they are dissatisfied with me…And my progress…But the truth is…They are dissatisfied with themselves…They are dissatisfied with their own choices…They are dissatisfied with their own lives…They are dissatisfied in how things are unfolding…In big and small ways…They are feeling dissatisfied…And that blow back hits me…It would be great if everybody was happy with my success…It would be great if everybody celebrated my success…But when my success makes other people uncomfortable…That is their responsibility…That is their choice…It would be great if they were happy…But I can’t control that…I need to keep moving towards my own success… Because that serves all.
It is really easy to get caught up in what others think about us, our effort, our work, and our goals.
When we worry about what others think we become hesitant and stop making progress.
Today we tap to clear our concerns about what others think of us and our goals.
The Opinions Of Others Do Not Define Me
(audio 4m33s)
I’m glad I have people in my life…I’m glad I have people in my life who are aware of my choices…Who know what I’m striving for…Who know what I’m striving to be…There are going to be times…When the people in my life…Do not support the work that I do…Do not like the choices I make…And that might be because they think they’re the wrong choices…Or it might be that my choices are making them uncomfortable…My growing and stretching…Shines a light on the fact that they are no longer growing and stretching…So that I become hesitant in my choices…Because I don’t want to be judged…I don’t want them to think I’m making a mistake…I don’t want them to think badly of me…I don’t want them to be uncomfortable…And it is good…That there is a part of me…That is trying to be thoughtful…And considerate of others…But I need to make the choices that are right for me…I need to make these choices with confidence…I need to move forward comfortably…I need to know that it is OK…And as I move forward…I’m doing it to become the best me…And it would be great…If everybody in my life loved and supported all of my choices…Appreciated everything that I was doing…But that’s not going to happen…Because my choices are not their choices…And I give myself permission…To know that I don’t have to please everyone…With every one of my choices…I don’t have to make everyone comfortable…With all of my choices…I give myself permission…To take the choice boldly…That are right for me…As I move forward…In big and small ways…I can make the choices I need to make…Not wanting to run over other people’s feelings…But knowing I need to be me…I’m responsible for me…They’re responsible for themselves…It’s good that I’m thoughtful…It’s good that I am considerate…But my choices…Need to be the choices that are right for me.
When we make a change or reach a new goal the people who are closest to us will notice.
We will look different, carry ourselves differently, or be spending our time in new ways.
This new found attention can feel scary to that part of us that is comfortable flying beneath the radar.
If we fear that our success will equal us being noticed then we will find ways to sabotage ourselves and shield ourselves from that attention.
Let’s tap for the fear of being noticed once we are successful.
If I Am Successful Everyone Will See Me
(audio 4m45s)
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I want to move forward…I want to be successful…I want to achieve my goals…I want to have better…I want to challenge myself…And reach new heights…But there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I achieve…That if I move forward…That if I’m successful… I’m setting myself up for trouble…Because if I’m successful…If I do this well…If I exceed expectations…My new level of success…Will be what is expected of me in future…Everybody will expect more of me…And I’m working hard to meet these goals…And if they expect more of me…I have to work harder all the time…I give myself permission to know…I can be successful…And meet my standards…I can be successful…And meet my expectations…Because my standards…And my expectations…Are what are most important…It’s less important…What others hold me to…I can be successful…I can move forward…Without making it harder for myself…By feeling like expectations have been raised…
My life is far from typical. I make choices that most people won’t make. Because of this loved ones have questioned my choices (and my sanity).
It can be hard enough trying something new. It gets even harder when we worry that the people in our lives will think our goals and dreams are foolish.
Today we tap for people judging what we are trying as silly and foolish.
Permission To Quit
(audio 3m40s)
I have a sense of what I want…Even if it isn’t a perfect picture…I know the direction I’m heading…And the goals that I have…Are my goals…They’re personal goals…They’re about me…And about who I want to be…They’re not about anyone else…And when I state my goals…Others may not think they’re very good…Some people will think they’re foolish…Some people will think that they are a waste of time…Some people will think that they’re just stupid…They might even tell me that…They might even make fun of me…My goals are about me…My goals are about making my life better…My goals are about making my life richer…My goals are about making my life full of joy… It does not matter what other people think about my goals…It doesn’t matter if they think they’re foolish…It doesn’t even matter if they say they’re foolish…My goals are about me…They’re not about them…My goals are about my joy…They’re not about them…It doesn’t matter…What they think…What matters is what I think…What matters is what is right for me…What matters are my goals and my life.
Sometimes we feel that we will be judged if we share our gifts. We are worried that people will think that we are foolish or what we have to offer is trivial.
Today we tap to knowing that it is good for us to share our skills and talents.
Share Gifts
(audio 2m45s)
I want to share my gifts…I want to share my talents…I have so much to offer…And I know when I offer…I improve the lives…Of those around me…And I improve my own life…And there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I share my giftedness…I’m going to be judged…I’m going to be seen as foolish…I’m going to be seen as making mistakes…I’m going to be seen as less than…I give myself permission to know that not everybody is going to accept…My gifts…And what I have to share…But my gifts are not for everyone…My gifts are not for every circumstance…And when I share my gifts…The people who can be transformed by those…Will receive them…It’s good that I recognize that I’m gifted…It’s good that I feel confident sharing those gifts…It’s good for me…It’s good for those around me.