Tag: 2.11

When we want more we are in some way saying that what we have is not enough. This can cause an internal conflict because do not want to be ungrateful for what we already have.

Today we are going to tap for the conflict between being thankful for what we have AND wanting more.

By Wanting More I Feel Ungrateful For What I Already Have
(audio 3m22s)

There’s a part of me…That really wants to move forward…There’s a part of me…That sees these wonderful goals I’m striving for…There’s a part of me…That is ready to move forward…But when I name something new…When I name something better that I want…It feels like I’m saying…What I have simply isn’t enough…It feels like I’m saying…I don’t appreciate where I am…I don’t appreciate what others have done for me…I don’t appreciate all the gifts in my life…I don’t appreciate the fact that I have it better than most…It is possible for me…To continue to move forward…To strive for better…To strive for more…And still appreciate where I am…Still appreciate what I have…Still appreciate everything that’s happened in my life…I can strive for more and appreciate what I have…I can appreciate what I have and still have energy to strive for more…Striving for more…And appreciating what I have…Are not mutually exclusive…They can happen simultaneously…And they can both serve me…I want to appreciate what I have…I want to strive for more…I give myself permission….To do both at the exact same time.

With the exception of Daddy Warbucks from Annie, I can’t think of a single rich, successful person who is nice in movies.

And I understand why. It doesn’t make for very good drama. Good drama is the little guy struggling to overcome obstacles against all the odds.

Because of this, it is easy for us to hold the belief (on a subconscious level) that if we become successful then we will also turn into a horrible person.

Let’s tap to clear that belief.

What If I End Up Like Those Other Arrogant Successful People
(audio 3m35s)

I want to move forward…I want to be successful…I want to have opportunities…I want to grow…But there’s a part of me…The subconscious part of me…That believes successful people…Are mean and nasty…Successful people are arrogant…Successful people are full of themselves…Successful people have taken advantage of others to get ahead…And even though I consciously know this is not true…There’s a part of me that’s been given the story over and over and over again…It’s a story that shows up all the time in pop culture…And it’s really easy to buy into…I know people who have been successful who aren’t jerks…I know people who have been successful who aren’t arrogant…I know people who are successful who didn’t step on others to get that success…It is possible for me…To have success and move forward…Without turning into an arrogant jerk…Without becoming nasty…Just because I’m successful…It doesn’t mean…I lose who I am…I can be successful…And keep my values…I can be successful…And keep my purpose…I can be successful…And be a good person…Success won’t make me arrogant…Success is simply me being me to my full potential.

I am very comfortable being who I am right now. Even though it is so much less than what I think I can be, it is predictable. I know what others expect of me and I know what to expect from myself.

As we pursue our goals and evolve into something new we can be concerned that we don’t know how to act as our new self. This seems like an unlikely reason to be holding ourselves back, but I have found with myself and my clients that this fear is a powerful motivator for not taking action.

What If I Don’t Know How To Be The New Me?
(audio 3m05s)

I’m glad I’m moving forward…I’m glad I’m making progress…I’m glad transformation is happening…And that I’m shedding old patterns…And moving forward in a healthy way…But I’m concerned…As I start to see myself in a new way…As I start to see the world in a new way…I’m going to act differently…All the old habits…Many of the old ways of seeing the world…Are being released with the old beliefs…And now as I navigate the world…I have to do it in a new way…New is scary…Different is scary…But I give myself permission…That with the transformation…I’m gaining resources…And ability…To navigate this world in a new way…So even though I don’t know exactly what to do…I can respond to the new way…And as I start to act in new ways… I will continue to grow into the new me…Making it even easier…To take on the new and different… Transformation is a process…I don’t have to get it right in the first try…It’s OK as I learn my way…Into the new ways of acting.

When we make a change or reach a new goal the people who are closest to us will notice.

We will look different, carry ourselves differently, or be spending our time in new ways.

This new found attention can feel scary to that part of us that is comfortable flying beneath the radar.

If we fear that our success will equal us being noticed then we will find ways to sabotage ourselves and shield ourselves from that attention.

Let’s tap for the fear of being noticed once we are successful.

If I Am Successful Everyone Will See Me
(audio 4m45s)

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I want to move forward…I want to be successful…I want to achieve my goals…I want to have better…I want to challenge myself…And reach new heights…But there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I achieve…That if I move forward…That if I’m successful… I’m setting myself up for trouble…Because if I’m successful…If I do this well…If I exceed expectations…My new level of success…Will be what is expected of me in future…Everybody will expect more of me…And I’m working hard to meet these goals…And if they expect more of me…I have to work harder all the time…I give myself permission to know…I can be successful…And meet my standards…I can be successful…And meet my expectations…Because my standards…And my expectations…Are what are most important…It’s less important…What others hold me to…I can be successful…I can move forward…Without making it harder for myself…By feeling like expectations have been raised…

It seems silly that we would be afraid of achieving success.

It is one of the biggest fears I see in my clients when it comes to short circuiting their success.

When we succeed we can raise the expectations of others and this can be scary. When we fear this we will make sure that we fail.

Let’s tap for worrying about raising others’ expectations.

Fear Of Being Successful
(audio 4m17s)

I want to be successful…I want to move forward…I want to achieve my goals… I want life to be better…I want life to be fuller…I want life to be richer…But for some reason… success is scary…When I’m successful, I raise other people’s expectations…When I’m successful, I raise my own expectations…When I’m successful, I taste the good life…And it’s possible to lose it…And the pain of knowing better and then losing it…Feels like it’s so much worse…Than never experiencing the pleasure of success at all…When things go well…There’s always the sense…That the other shoe is going to drop…And if I’m successful…I will be constantly looking over my shoulder…For that other thing to go wrong…But I give myself permission…To recognize I can manage success…I can enjoy success…Without feeling overburdened by new expectations…Without feeling overburdened by others’ expectations…Without feeling overburdened of the fear of losing success…It’s possible I might have success and lose it…But since I achieved it once…I know I can achieve it again…And again…And again…Success will change my life…It will bring new things…The unknown can be scary…But I can manage these new and different things…Nice big deep breath.