Tag: 4.04

It is really easy to get caught up in what others think about us, our effort, our work, and our goals.

When we worry about what others think we become hesitant and stop making progress.

Today we tap to clear our concerns about what others think of us and our goals.

The Opinions Of Others Do Not Define Me
(audio 4m33s)

I’m glad I have people in my life…I’m glad I have people in my life who are aware of my choices…Who know what I’m striving for…Who know what I’m striving to be…There are going to be times…When the people in my life…Do not support the work that I do…Do not like the choices I make…And that might be because they think they’re the wrong choices…Or it might be that my choices are making them uncomfortable…My growing and stretching…Shines a light on the fact that they are no longer growing and stretching…So that I become hesitant in my choices…Because I don’t want to be judged…I don’t want them to think I’m making a mistake…I don’t want them to think badly of me…I don’t want them to be uncomfortable…And it is good…That there is a part of me…That is trying to be thoughtful…And considerate of others…But I need to make the choices that are right for me…I need to make these choices with confidence…I need to move forward comfortably…I need to know that it is OK…And as I move forward…I’m doing it to become the best me…And it would be great…If everybody in my life loved and supported all of my choices…Appreciated everything that I was doing…But that’s not going to happen…Because my choices are not their choices…And I give myself permission…To know that I don’t have to please everyone…With every one of my choices…I don’t have to make everyone comfortable…With all of my choices…I give myself permission…To take the choice boldly…That are right for me…As I move forward…In big and small ways…I can make the choices I need to make…Not wanting to run over other people’s feelings…But knowing I need to be me…I’m responsible for me…They’re responsible for themselves…It’s good that I’m thoughtful…It’s good that I am considerate…But my choices…Need to be the choices that are right for me.

When we make a change or reach a new goal the people who are closest to us will notice.

We will look different, carry ourselves differently, or be spending our time in new ways.

This new found attention can feel scary to that part of us that is comfortable flying beneath the radar.

If we fear that our success will equal us being noticed then we will find ways to sabotage ourselves and shield ourselves from that attention.

Let’s tap for the fear of being noticed once we are successful.

If I Am Successful Everyone Will See Me
(audio 4m45s)

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I want to move forward…I want to be successful…I want to achieve my goals…I want to have better…I want to challenge myself…And reach new heights…But there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I achieve…That if I move forward…That if I’m successful… I’m setting myself up for trouble…Because if I’m successful…If I do this well…If I exceed expectations…My new level of success…Will be what is expected of me in future…Everybody will expect more of me…And I’m working hard to meet these goals…And if they expect more of me…I have to work harder all the time…I give myself permission to know…I can be successful…And meet my standards…I can be successful…And meet my expectations…Because my standards…And my expectations…Are what are most important…It’s less important…What others hold me to…I can be successful…I can move forward…Without making it harder for myself…By feeling like expectations have been raised…

It seems silly that we would be afraid of achieving success.

It is one of the biggest fears I see in my clients when it comes to short circuiting their success.

When we succeed we can raise the expectations of others and this can be scary. When we fear this we will make sure that we fail.

Let’s tap for worrying about raising others’ expectations.

Fear Of Being Successful
(audio 4m17s)

I want to be successful…I want to move forward…I want to achieve my goals… I want life to be better…I want life to be fuller…I want life to be richer…But for some reason… success is scary…When I’m successful, I raise other people’s expectations…When I’m successful, I raise my own expectations…When I’m successful, I taste the good life…And it’s possible to lose it…And the pain of knowing better and then losing it…Feels like it’s so much worse…Than never experiencing the pleasure of success at all…When things go well…There’s always the sense…That the other shoe is going to drop…And if I’m successful…I will be constantly looking over my shoulder…For that other thing to go wrong…But I give myself permission…To recognize I can manage success…I can enjoy success…Without feeling overburdened by new expectations…Without feeling overburdened by others’ expectations…Without feeling overburdened of the fear of losing success…It’s possible I might have success and lose it…But since I achieved it once…I know I can achieve it again…And again…And again…Success will change my life…It will bring new things…The unknown can be scary…But I can manage these new and different things…Nice big deep breath.

I hear from clients all the time that they just want to share their gifts with the world. They know they are called to do more or offer more. The work we do on their self sabotage is to help them to share their gifts more widely.

But what if you don’t know what your gifts are?

Today we are going to tap for discovering our gifts and/or seeing them more clearly.

Figuring Out What Our Gifts Are
(audio 3m45s)

I want to use my gifts…I want to share my gifts…I want others to profit from my gifts…
I don’t want to squander my gifts…And that’s a really lovely idea…But there are times when I don’t know what my gifts are…I can’t see them clearly…And I can’t see how they fit into the world…And when this happens…It’s really frustrating…I feel like I’m wasting time…And I’m wasting opportunity…Because this moment can’t be here again…And if I don’t use my gifts right now…It was a waste…But the biggest gift I have…Is the gift of my intention…And the gift of my presence…And even if I don’t know my exact gifts… And even if I don’t know how to use what I have…In this particular moment…By being present to this moment…By being fully present to this moment…I will recognize opportunity…And I will recognize inspiration…I will use what I have…To respond to right now…Even if I don’t know my exact gifts…And even if I’m not using what I do best in this moment…That is much less important…Than my presence to this moment…
How I respond…And how I’m present…If I do that…Through opportunity and inspiration…My gifts will reveal themselves…And I will know which one to use now.

My life is far from typical. I make choices that most people won’t make. Because of this loved ones have questioned my choices (and my sanity).

It can be hard enough trying something new. It gets even harder when we worry that the people in our lives will think our goals and dreams are foolish.

Today we tap for people judging what we are trying as silly and foolish.

Permission To Quit
(audio 3m40s)

I have a sense of what I want…Even if it isn’t a perfect picture…I know the direction I’m heading…And the goals that I have…Are my goals…They’re personal goals…They’re about me…And about who I want to be…They’re not about anyone else…And when I state my goals…Others may not think they’re very good…Some people will think they’re foolish…Some people will think that they are a waste of time…Some people will think that they’re just stupid…They might even tell me that…They might even make fun of me…My goals are about me…My goals are about making my life better…My goals are about making my life richer…My goals are about making my life full of joy… It does not matter what other people think about my goals…It doesn’t matter if they think they’re foolish…It doesn’t even matter if they say they’re foolish…My goals are about me…They’re not about them…My goals are about my joy…They’re not about them…It doesn’t matter…What they think…What matters is what I think…What matters is what is right for me…What matters are my goals and my life.

One of the things that holds me back is the worry that if I do something well then everyone will expect me to achieve that standard again.

When this happens a part of me holds me back from success to make sure I don’t create higher expectations that I will have to live up to in the future.

Let’s tap for this worry!

Expectations
(audio 3m36s)

I want to move forward…I want to be successful…I want to achieve my goals…I want to have better…I want to challenge myself…And reach new heights…But there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I achieve…That if I move forward…That if I’m successful…I’m setting myself up for trouble…Because if I’m successful…If I do this well…If I exceed expectations…My new level of success…Will be what is expected of me in future…Everybody will expect more of me…And I’m working hard to meet these goals…And if they expect more of me…I have to work harder all the time…I give myself permission to know…I can be successful…And meet my standards…I can be successful…And meet my expectations…Because my standards…And my expectations…Are what are most important…It’s less important…What others hold me to…I can be successful…I can move forward…Without making it harder for myself…By feeling like expectations have been raised…

Sometimes we feel that we will be judged if we share our gifts. We are worried that people will think that we are foolish or what we have to offer is trivial.

Today we tap to knowing that it is good for us to share our skills and talents.

Share Gifts
(audio 2m45s)

I want to share my gifts…I want to share my talents…I have so much to offer…And I know when I offer…I improve the lives…Of those around me…And I improve my own life…And there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I share my giftedness…I’m going to be judged…I’m going to be seen as foolish…I’m going to be seen as making mistakes…I’m going to be seen as less than…I give myself permission to know that not everybody is going to accept…My gifts…And what I have to share…But my gifts are not for everyone…My gifts are not for every circumstance…And when I share my gifts…The people who can be transformed by those…Will receive them…It’s good that I recognize that I’m gifted…It’s good that I feel confident sharing those gifts…It’s good for me…It’s good for those around me.

Sometimes we feel like we already have so much more than everyone else and we feel bad about going after our goals.

Today we are going to tap to recognize it is okay for us to pursue our goals even when we have more than others.

Permission To Pursue Goals

There’s a part of me that wants to pursue my goals…There’s a part of me that really wants to move forward…There’s a part of me that’s really seeking to be successful…Knowing that if I am successful, I’ll be able to share what I have…And at the exact same time, I recognize the fact that many don’t have what I have…They don’t have the opportunities…They don’t have the support…They don’t have the resources…I have so many more opportunities than so many people…And sometimes there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel like I’m worthy of pursuing something bigger…Because I already have so much…But not pursuing my goals…And not trying…Does not serve anyone…Me not making effort does not make it easier for others…I have permission to pursue my goals…I have permission to move forward…Because when I move forward…I serve myself…And I serve the greater good…