Our goals are a very personal thing. Sometimes we want what others want and sometimes we want something different that is completely personal. Because it so personal there are times when others don’t understand what we are up to or why we want it.
Today we are going to tap for the push back we receive from those in our lives who don’t understand and support what we are up to.
Our goals very personal. They are things that we have named that are useful and meaningful to us. Just because we think a goal is worth working for doesn’t mean that the people in our life will think the same things are important or valuable.
There will even be times when people dismiss and diminish our goals as silly and foolish. When this happens we question ourselves and our motivation.
Today we are going to tap for when others think our goals are a waste of time.
In order to achieve our goals we need to work hard. Most of the reward comes in achieving our goals. It is also nice to be acknowledged by others for all the work we are doing. It can really hurt when our hard work is not being noticed by others.
Today we are going to tap for those times when we feel (even a little) emotional pain when others are not recognizing our work.
It Hurts When Others Don’t See How Hard I Am Working
(audio 4m11s)
I’m working really hard…I’m really committed to my goals…I’m taking bold action…I’m looking at the parts of my life that I’m not thrilled with…My efforts are far from perfect…And I’m sure I could be doing more…But I am committed to this…I am working hard…And the people around me just don’t realize it…The people around me don’t realize how much this costs…The people around me don’t realize how important this is…The people around me don’t realize how much effort I’m putting in…The people around me don’t realize how hard I’m trying…And I wish they understood…I wish they noticed…I wish they knew…It would be so nice to have their support…It would be so nice to have their encouragement…Not that I have to have it…Not that it’s a requirement for my success…But having people understand is important…Having people understand is encouraging…Having people understand is comforting…As I continue to work…As I continue to move forward…The people around me are going to catch up…They’re going to start to notice the positive change…They’re going to notice the effort that I am putting in…They’re going to see this work for what it is…And regardless if they notice or not…What’s more important is the fact that I notice…I recognize my commitment…I recognize my effort…I recognize why I’m doing this…It would be great to have more support…It would be great to have more recognition…But if it comes or not…I’m going to continue to strive…Put forth the effort…Because my work and transformation is the most important thing.
When we want more we are in some way saying that what we have is not enough. This can cause an internal conflict because do not want to be ungrateful for what we already have.
Today we are going to tap for the conflict between being thankful for what we have AND wanting more.
By Wanting More I Feel Ungrateful For What I Already Have
(audio 3m22s)
There’s a part of me…That really wants to move forward…There’s a part of me…That sees these wonderful goals I’m striving for…There’s a part of me…That is ready to move forward…But when I name something new…When I name something better that I want…It feels like I’m saying…What I have simply isn’t enough…It feels like I’m saying…I don’t appreciate where I am…I don’t appreciate what others have done for me…I don’t appreciate all the gifts in my life…I don’t appreciate the fact that I have it better than most…It is possible for me…To continue to move forward…To strive for better…To strive for more…And still appreciate where I am…Still appreciate what I have…Still appreciate everything that’s happened in my life…I can strive for more and appreciate what I have…I can appreciate what I have and still have energy to strive for more…Striving for more…And appreciating what I have…Are not mutually exclusive…They can happen simultaneously…And they can both serve me…I want to appreciate what I have…I want to strive for more…I give myself permission….To do both at the exact same time.
It would be nice if everyone in our lives were as committed to our success as we are. And our loved ones might even say out loud that they support us.
But there will be times when our success makes our loved ones feel uncomfortable. They might feel like they are failing because they haven’t had the same success. Or they might feel that our success is making us “too big for our britches”.
If we feel like our success will have a negative impact on our relationships with loved ones then it’s possible that we will hold ourselves back so as not to cause them pain.
Today we are going to tap for the way others may react to our success.
Others Won’t Like My Success
(audio 4m50s)
I want to be successful…I want to achieve this goal…Because I know this goal will improve my life…It will make my life richer…It will make my life better….And when my life changes…In one way…It ripples through the rest of my life…It touches other parts of my life….It impacts all the relationships I have…There will be times where this is a really good thing…My growth will encourage others…My transformation will be a model for others…My moving forward will create that positive rippling effect in others’ lives…There are going to be other times…Where my success will challenge others…Challenge them in a way that makes them uncomfortable… Challenges them in a way that makes them uneasy…Challenges them in a way where they have to look at their own lives…And recognize it’s not moving forward…And when this happens…It is possible that they will lash out…Sometimes in direct ways…And sometimes in passive-aggressive ways…But it’s going to be obvious…That they are dissatisfied with me…And my progress…But the truth is…They are dissatisfied with themselves…They are dissatisfied with their own choices…They are dissatisfied with their own lives…They are dissatisfied in how things are unfolding…In big and small ways…They are feeling dissatisfied…And that blow back hits me…It would be great if everybody was happy with my success…It would be great if everybody celebrated my success…But when my success makes other people uncomfortable…That is their responsibility…That is their choice…It would be great if they were happy…But I can’t control that…I need to keep moving towards my own success… Because that serves all.
It is easy to be motivated when we are in pain because we want to be pain free.
It is easy to be motivated when we are close to our goal because we can almost taste success.
The hardest time to move is when we are in the comfortable middle. It is not what we want, but it isn’t so painful that we are motivated to push forward.
To step out of this comfort zone is scary because it means we could lose comfort.
Let’s tap for the courage to step out of our comfort zone today.
Stepping Out Of The Comfort Of Today
(audio 3m40s)
I’m enjoying my life…I recognize I have a lot of good things…I’m not fighting for survival…I’m not fighting off danger at every moment…I have what I need to get by…But that isn’t necessarily enough…I have dreams…I have goals…I have aspirations…I want to move forward…But that means I’m going to have to leave my comfort zone…And there’s a part of me that does not want to leave my comfort zone…There’s a part of me that wants to stay right here…There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to transition…Because trying to transition is work…And work can be painful…And work can lead to failure…The part of me that wants to stay in this comfort zone…Is trying to take care of me…Is trying to make my day pain-free…And I appreciate the fact that it’s doing that…That it’s trying to keep me safe…But, today, I give myself permission…To step out of my comfort zone…To try something new…To try something I’m not going to be perfect at…That’s going to move me towards my goal…Because even though I’m experiencing this…I want to move forward…And I want to have more…I give myself permission to step out…Knowing that the rewards of stepping out…Outweigh the risk…Because those rewards are going to be lasting.
When we make a change or reach a new goal the people who are closest to us will notice.
We will look different, carry ourselves differently, or be spending our time in new ways.
This new found attention can feel scary to that part of us that is comfortable flying beneath the radar.
If we fear that our success will equal us being noticed then we will find ways to sabotage ourselves and shield ourselves from that attention.
Let’s tap for the fear of being noticed once we are successful.
If I Am Successful Everyone Will See Me
(audio 4m45s)
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I want to move forward…I want to be successful…I want to achieve my goals…I want to have better…I want to challenge myself…And reach new heights…But there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I achieve…That if I move forward…That if I’m successful… I’m setting myself up for trouble…Because if I’m successful…If I do this well…If I exceed expectations…My new level of success…Will be what is expected of me in future…Everybody will expect more of me…And I’m working hard to meet these goals…And if they expect more of me…I have to work harder all the time…I give myself permission to know…I can be successful…And meet my standards…I can be successful…And meet my expectations…Because my standards…And my expectations…Are what are most important…It’s less important…What others hold me to…I can be successful…I can move forward…Without making it harder for myself…By feeling like expectations have been raised…
My life is far from typical. I make choices that most people won’t make. Because of this loved ones have questioned my choices (and my sanity).
It can be hard enough trying something new. It gets even harder when we worry that the people in our lives will think our goals and dreams are foolish.
Today we tap for people judging what we are trying as silly and foolish.
Permission To Quit
(audio 3m40s)
I have a sense of what I want…Even if it isn’t a perfect picture…I know the direction I’m heading…And the goals that I have…Are my goals…They’re personal goals…They’re about me…And about who I want to be…They’re not about anyone else…And when I state my goals…Others may not think they’re very good…Some people will think they’re foolish…Some people will think that they are a waste of time…Some people will think that they’re just stupid…They might even tell me that…They might even make fun of me…My goals are about me…My goals are about making my life better…My goals are about making my life richer…My goals are about making my life full of joy… It does not matter what other people think about my goals…It doesn’t matter if they think they’re foolish…It doesn’t even matter if they say they’re foolish…My goals are about me…They’re not about them…My goals are about my joy…They’re not about them…It doesn’t matter…What they think…What matters is what I think…What matters is what is right for me…What matters are my goals and my life.
Sometimes we feel that we will be judged if we share our gifts. We are worried that people will think that we are foolish or what we have to offer is trivial.
Today we tap to knowing that it is good for us to share our skills and talents.
Share Gifts
(audio 2m45s)
I want to share my gifts…I want to share my talents…I have so much to offer…And I know when I offer…I improve the lives…Of those around me…And I improve my own life…And there’s a part of me that’s worried…That if I share my giftedness…I’m going to be judged…I’m going to be seen as foolish…I’m going to be seen as making mistakes…I’m going to be seen as less than…I give myself permission to know that not everybody is going to accept…My gifts…And what I have to share…But my gifts are not for everyone…My gifts are not for every circumstance…And when I share my gifts…The people who can be transformed by those…Will receive them…It’s good that I recognize that I’m gifted…It’s good that I feel confident sharing those gifts…It’s good for me…It’s good for those around me.
Sometimes we feel like we already have so much more than everyone else and we feel bad about going after our goals.
Today we are going to tap to recognize it is okay for us to pursue our goals even when we have more than others.
There’s a part of me that wants to pursue my goals…There’s a part of me that really wants to move forward…There’s a part of me that’s really seeking to be successful…Knowing that if I am successful, I’ll be able to share what I have…And at the exact same time, I recognize the fact that many don’t have what I have…They don’t have the opportunities…They don’t have the support…They don’t have the resources…I have so many more opportunities than so many people…And sometimes there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel like I’m worthy of pursuing something bigger…Because I already have so much…But not pursuing my goals…And not trying…Does not serve anyone…Me not making effort does not make it easier for others…I have permission to pursue my goals…I have permission to move forward…Because when I move forward…I serve myself…And I serve the greater good…