Category: Tools

I love it when my clients laugh, especially when we are in the middle of something very emotional.

It is a great way to break the tension and it’s an even better way bring perspective and truth to a struggle.

I was first introduced to this idea when Gary Craig talked about “the comedies of our mind”. What he meant by that phrase was that if we take limiting beliefs out of our heads and bring them into the light of day we will be able to laugh at them because they are so preposterous.

Here are few examples from clients sessions just this week:

• If I ask the wrong question during our staff meeting I will be fired.
• If I ask my friends to join the multi-level marketing I am a part of they will think I am a crook.
• If I ask her out she will laugh in my face.

Once my clients hear out loud what is going on in their subconscious it loses a lot of power because they can see how their minds are over-functioning.

Not only do I get my clients to see what the subconscious thinks will happen, I also like to push the envelope to make the outcomes bigger and bigger.

For example, if they are worried that they will say something out of place at work we would tap like this:

• I am afraid to speak up during our staff meeting
• because I might say something stupid
• and they will think I am stupid
• and they won’t trust me with anything else
• and my boss will think it was a mistake to hire me
• and I will be fired
• and not be able to get another job
• and lose my home
• and have to live on the streets
• and beg for food
• and will die in a gutter alone.

Yes, that is absolutely ridiculous, but it puts the danger in perspective. We no longer feel that saying something dumb during a staff meeting is the worst thing that could ever happen to us.

To use this with your tapping all you need to do is take the worry you have and make it much bigger than it really is.

Start with the fear you have: I am going to say something stupid.

List the real possible outcome: I will look foolish.

Come up with 6 more outcomes with each one being worse than the one before.

Before you know it you will be laughing to yourself and you will be able to see the issue in perspective.

When something happens once it is interesting. When something happens twice it is a coincidence. When something happens three times it is a pattern.

When it happens five times in three days…well I don’t know. It is something AND something important.

In the last three days the “What I Choose For Today” tapping script has been mentioned five times by members of this site in conversations and emails. And I don’t mean I brought it up because it made sense in the context of their questions.

They brought it up unprompted by me and talked about what a powerful tool it is.

To that end this week I want you to revisit this powerful tool!

I have both an audio and pdf version so you can use it in format that makes the most sense for you.

What I Choose For Today (pdf)

What I Choose For Today

[Note: There are a number of great tools on the site. It is important to note that not all tools will work with every issue and every type of goal. This week’s tool is a perfect example. It contains a powerful concept, but it is not perfect for every goal you are trying to achieve. For example, this approach won’t be the most helpful if your main goal is to find a long-term, lasting relationship, but is great if you are trying to develop a habit, like getting into shape.

These tools are not one size fits all. I would encourage you to be thoughtful in choosing which tool to use for each issue and goal. That is why there are so many!]

Something really interesting has happened to me since I moved to Brooklyn. I have been cooking for myself more, choosing to prepare healthier food, and I have been learning how to make lots of fun new meals.

I am really happy with this change, but this wasn’t a goal I set out to achieve. Being healthier has been a goal of mine since the beginning of the year, but cooking more healthy food and trying out new dishes was not.

The change has taken place because of the neighborhood I have moved into. When I tell my New York friends where I am living they all say, “You are lucky to live near so many amazing restaurants!”

And it is true. On Thursday night I was out for my evening walk and I passed 23 restaurants I wanted to try just on one street. And it wasn’t even the part of my area with the highest concentration of restaurants!

The simple fact that I am being exposed to higher quality and healthier food every day is inspiring me to eat and cook more healthily.

This is true for all parts of our lives. The people, worldviews, and experiences to which we are most exposed are those we will continue to seek out.

Entrepreneur Jim Rohn often repeated that, “We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.”

Even if this is not literally true there is a great deal of truth in the statement. Bearing this in mind we can consciously choose to fill our lives with more of what we would like to show up in the future.

Today’s tool is very simple.

1) Choose one of the goals you are working towards. It could be about health, work, relationships, or your spiritual path. Make sure it is a goal for which you have a clear vision of exactly what you want.

2) Brainstorm a list of 5 people, places, or experiences where people are having what you would like in your own life. If you can come up with more than 5 that would be great, but make sure you come up with at least 5.

3) Make a plan to contact two people who have what you want and arrange to spend some time with them. Talking to them about your goal is not a requirement. Just being around them will be helpful and encouraging as you see what is possible.

[NOTE: If you are having a hard time reaching out to people here are bunch of tap-along audios to help you be more comfortable reaching out: tap-along audios]

Strong emotional responses in the moment make it hard for us to make good choices dealing with difficult situations. No matter what steps we had planned ahead of time if we are all of a sudden hit with strong emotions (frustration, anger, overwhelm) then we will fall back into old patterns and habits.

Here is quick formula to help you tap for emotions in the moment you feel them. To us the tool all you need to do is fill in bracketed areas with what you are feeling in this 5-step formula, then tap while you read the steps out loud.

1) Right now I am feeling [emotion].

2) I don’t like feeling [emotion] because [reason you don’t like feeling the emotion].

3) I want to thank the [emotion] for being present. It is trying to be helpful but right now it is over reacting.

4) The reason I am feeling [emotion] is because [reason for the emotion in as much detail as possible].

5) Instead of feeling [emotion] I would rather feel [new state and point of view you would like to feel, such as “calm and centred,” “that I am seeing things clearly,” “confident in the choice I’m making,” “comfortable in my own skin” etc].

It is really that simple. This process might not knock the emotion out completely, but it will at least create enough emotional space in the moment to make good choices.

I would recommend you write the formula down on a notecard and put in your backpack, bag, or purse. When you find yourself emotionally overwhelmed just excuse yourself to the restroom, take out the card, and tap.

I was recently listening to an interview with author Daniel Pink where he was talking about recent research into the types of people who are most successful in making sales. One of the things I love about Dan is that he is willing to look past conventional wisdom and analyze real data to see what works and what doesn’t.

One of the pieces of research he discussed dealt with what happens when we make positive statements about how we would like things to turn out.

The example he gave in the interview was a comparison of salesmen. One group said, “I am going to kill this sale,” while the other group asked, “Am I going to make this sale?”

The group that asked the question was much more successful in making sales.

The reason being that when we ask questions like that we name the proof that we already have that we could be successful at the task. A salesman might think, “I know this client. I know my product and I know that it can improve their life. If I share that honestly they will see it is a good fit.”

Whereas the statement, “I am going to kill this sale!” might feel like false bravado and the salesman will approach the sale with less conviction.

We can add the use of these questions to our tapping practice AND tap while we use them to add extra effect.

The next time you want to do something instead of saying, “I am going to do this!” ask yourself the question, “Can I do this?” (I would recommend that you tap the whole time you do this.)

One of two things will happen.

1) You will start to list all the proof as to why you can do this and action will become easier with confidence and a plan.

2) You will uncover all the negative self-talk as to why you can’t do it so you will then have the root causes to tap on.

Either way you win!

Please let me know how asking these types of questions works for you.

One of the biggest mistakes people make when crafting goals is they name a goal that is so unreasonably big that their mind can’t grasp it as real.

Making $1,000,000 this year is the perfect example of that. For most people 1,000,000 is just a one followed by a whole bunch of zeros. The number isn’t real. At least for me, once we get over $10,000 it is hard for me to have any real concept of what we are talking about.

Once numbers get to a certain size they seem similar. In my mind $300,000 isn’t much different than $1,000,000.

It’s nearly impossible to work towards a goal we can’t comfortably imagine.

As un-useful as big, ill-defined goals can be, micro-goals can be powerful and useful.

I was first introduced to the idea of micro-goals when I read about the Japanese idea of “kaizen”.

Kaizen is the idea of taking lots of very small steps which over time add up to something big.

The first example I was taught was of a man who wanted to eat more healthily. Every day he ate at a fast food place near his office. He decided to start with his french fries. After buying his meal he threw away one french fry and then ate his meal as normal. The next day he threw away two fries. Each day this continued, deducting one fry at a time until he had slowly worked his way to a healthier diet without missing the greasy food he loved.

Eating healthily might seem too big a step to take all at once, but the micro-goal of eating one french fry fewer than the day before is so trivial that it seems easy.

Here is an example from my own life. A number of years ago I wanted to get up 90 minutes earlier every day in order to do more writing. There was no way I was going to find changing my wake up time from 7:00am to 5:30am easy. So what I did instead was to set my alarm for 6:58am. I wasn’t going to miss two minutes of sleep. The next day I set it for 6:56am, and the next for 6:54am.

In six weeks I was getting up at 5:30am without much effort. Today, it has become so much of a habit it’s unusual for me to sleep past 5:30am even without an alarm.

I want you to give kaizen a try. Pick one of your goals and break it down into the smallest possible step and commit to doing that today. With each successive day add another small step.

Change will happen before you know it.

Our physical health is central to our overall well being and ability to make good choices. When I am feeling below par I know that I am much more likely to make emotional choices, which are generally poor ones.

Below you will find the tapping script that I use to stay healthy. It is broken up into three parts. You can tap through the whole thing or any of the three parts depending on time and needs.

Part 1
My system is a powerful healing machine.

My system is made for health and well being.

I appreciate everything that my system does on unconscious and subconscious levels all day and night to keep me healthy and safe.

I know my system isn’t perfect in doing this, but it is truly amazing in what it does.

I know that there are choices that I make that make it harder for my system to heal and grow.

There are thoughts that I have, emotions that I feel, beliefs that I hold, things that I eat and drink, and choices I make that make it harder for my system to maintain optimum health.

I apologize to my system for any of these that I have done, especially in the last 24 hours.

I appreciate the fact that my system is willing to keep working towards my health and well being.

There are many things that my system is holding on to that are slowing healing and growth.

These can be in the form of thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and substances in my physical body.

Some of these are known, whilst others are unknown or hidden.

At one point the system thought that these were helpful or still thinks are helpful.

I give my system permission to release anything that is blocking health and well being and to know that if it needs these things in the future they will be available to me again.

I give my system permission to let them go even if it doesn’t understand what they are or why it thought they were helpful at one point.

My system is a powerful healing machine.

I give my system permission to exert its healing power not just right now but throughout the day and as I sleep tonight.

I do not need to be conscious of this healing and growth.

My system has permission to heal.

Part 2
There are many systems in my body that do so many amazing things.

There might be blocks and impediments to these parts working to their optimum.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my digestive system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my respiratory system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my circulatory system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my nervous system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my endocrine system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my limbic system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my glandular system for optimum health and well being.

I give my body permission and energy to remove any blocks and provide health and healing to my reproductive system for optimum health and well being.

I know that as I move through the day I encounter many things that can be hard for my system to process.

My system and my immune system do an amazing job of keeping me healthy as I encounter things through my day that are working against my health and well being.

Part 3
I want my immune system to know how much I appreciate how hard it works and that it is not the only part of me that is trying to keep my safe and healthy.

I give my immune system permission to access other parts of my system to ensure that I stay safe and healthy.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden viruses that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden bacteria that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden fungi that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden ingestants that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden inhalants that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden contactants that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden injectants that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden emotions that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden memories that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden beliefs that are preventing health and well being.

I give my system permission to heal and remove any known, unknown, and hidden darkness that is preventing health and well being.

My system is a powerful healing machine.

In my own life, I have found that guilt and shame are the most debilitating emotions. On some level it might really be just an issue of semantics when using the two words to describe different degrees of how we feel.

Today I am going to share with you a 4-step tool to help you to deconstruct guilt, which is such a debilitating emotion, and replace it with something more helpful.

Like many of the tools that I have shared with you, I encourage you to take the time to write out your answers to these steps. Writing them out will help you to gain clarity on the issue at hand AND it will provide you a great tapping script once you have finished.

1) What am I guilty of?
All you need to do is describe in detail how you experience feeling guilty. Include the emotions you feel, the thoughts you have, and the physical sensations you experience.

Complete the following:
I feel guilty when…
When I feel this guilt I think…
When I feel this guilt in my body I feel…
When I feel this guilt I experience…