Failure is hard. Not only do we have to deal with what didn’t work out, but it can lead us to feeling that we don’t even want to try again because our fear of future failure is so great.
Today we are going to tap for how the fear of failure can undermine our future efforts.
Our goals are very personal because they are about making our lives better, even when they also improve the lives of others. There will be times when it feels like our loved ones don’t understand.
Today we are going to tap for when others don’t think our goals are important.
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Our loved ones can be our harshest critics. It might be because they can feel liberated to criticize because they are so close to us. It might have to do with the fact that they feel uncomfortable by our effort to move forward.
Regardless why it happen, it can be really hard when we are judged by those close to us.
Today we are going to tap for the emotions that come with the harsh critique of our loved ones.
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Remembering and learning from past mistakes is a good thing because it helps us to make better choices in the future.
But we run into trouble when the lesson we learned from past failures is that we are failures and that we will fail again.
Today we are going to tap for feeling that failure is a pattern we are bound to keep repeating.
It is really easy to get caught up in what others think about us, our effort, our work, and our goals.
When we worry about what others think we become hesitant and stop making progress.
Today we tap to clear our concerns about what others think of us and our goals.
The Opinions Of Others Do Not Define Me
(audio 4m33s)
I’m glad I have people in my life…I’m glad I have people in my life who are aware of my choices…Who know what I’m striving for…Who know what I’m striving to be…There are going to be times…When the people in my life…Do not support the work that I do…Do not like the choices I make…And that might be because they think they’re the wrong choices…Or it might be that my choices are making them uncomfortable…My growing and stretching…Shines a light on the fact that they are no longer growing and stretching…So that I become hesitant in my choices…Because I don’t want to be judged…I don’t want them to think I’m making a mistake…I don’t want them to think badly of me…I don’t want them to be uncomfortable…And it is good…That there is a part of me…That is trying to be thoughtful…And considerate of others…But I need to make the choices that are right for me…I need to make these choices with confidence…I need to move forward comfortably…I need to know that it is OK…And as I move forward…I’m doing it to become the best me…And it would be great…If everybody in my life loved and supported all of my choices…Appreciated everything that I was doing…But that’s not going to happen…Because my choices are not their choices…And I give myself permission…To know that I don’t have to please everyone…With every one of my choices…I don’t have to make everyone comfortable…With all of my choices…I give myself permission…To take the choice boldly…That are right for me…As I move forward…In big and small ways…I can make the choices I need to make…Not wanting to run over other people’s feelings…But knowing I need to be me…I’m responsible for me…They’re responsible for themselves…It’s good that I’m thoughtful…It’s good that I am considerate…But my choices…Need to be the choices that are right for me.
My life is far from typical. I make choices that most people won’t make. Because of this loved ones have questioned my choices (and my sanity).
It can be hard enough trying something new. It gets even harder when we worry that the people in our lives will think our goals and dreams are foolish.
Today we tap for people judging what we are trying as silly and foolish.
Permission To Quit
(audio 3m40s)
I have a sense of what I want…Even if it isn’t a perfect picture…I know the direction I’m heading…And the goals that I have…Are my goals…They’re personal goals…They’re about me…And about who I want to be…They’re not about anyone else…And when I state my goals…Others may not think they’re very good…Some people will think they’re foolish…Some people will think that they are a waste of time…Some people will think that they’re just stupid…They might even tell me that…They might even make fun of me…My goals are about me…My goals are about making my life better…My goals are about making my life richer…My goals are about making my life full of joy… It does not matter what other people think about my goals…It doesn’t matter if they think they’re foolish…It doesn’t even matter if they say they’re foolish…My goals are about me…They’re not about them…My goals are about my joy…They’re not about them…It doesn’t matter…What they think…What matters is what I think…What matters is what is right for me…What matters are my goals and my life.
There are few things I find more painful than naming something as important, putting my heart and soul into it, and then failing.
Because this has happened in the past there is a part of me that would rather not try than deal with that feeling again.
Today we are going to tap for the hesitant part of us that doesn’t want to feel the sting of failure.
What If I Fail
(audio 3m35s)
I am worried that I’m going to fail… I’m worried I’m going to invest my time…And I’m going to fail…I’m worried I’m going to invest energy…And then I’m going to fail…I’m worried that I’m going to invest resources…And then I’m going to fail…Failing is no fun…It feels like a waste…It can be embarrassing…When we fail at a task…It’s easy to feel like a failure…I don’t want to feel like a failure…I give myself permission…To know it’s OK to fail…I am not going to do everything perfectly…I didn’t do it perfectly last time…There have been times where I completely messed it up…And that’s OK…I survived those failures…I learned from those failures…I grew from those failures…I’m not looking to fail…I’m not hoping to fail…But failing will not be the end…Sometimes when I fail…It simply means I’m not done…I’m one step closer to my goal…I just don’t completely have it yet…And that’s OK…I’ve survived failure before…And I’m going to survive it again…It’s OK to try…Knowing failures are possibility…Because I’m trying…Because of the value of the reward.
One of the things that holds me back from moving forward is being worried about what other people will think.
I worry that the people in my life will see me try something new, see me mess it up, and then judge me as a failure.
Today we tap for worrying about the judgement of others.
Others Judge
(audio 4m10s)
I want to be successful…I want to move forward…I want change…I want transformation…I want my life to be better…In order to do that, I’m going to have to try…I’m going to have to put myself out there…I’m going to have to do things I haven’t done before…And it’s possible I might fail…It’s possible I might get it wrong…It’s possible that people will judge me…It’s possible they’re going to look at me and laugh…They’re going to see my failure…And they’re going to think I’m a failure…They’re going to see my mistakes…And they’re going to think I was mistaken even to try…But my transformation is about me…It’s not about them…My transformation is about moving forward…It’s about my change…Often people make us feel little when we try…Because they’re afraid to try themselves…And it makes them feel better by making us feel small…This is my work…This is my effort…This is my opportunity to move forward…What’s important is that I try…By putting forth the effort…So that I continue to move forward…It doesn’t matter what they think…It doesn’t matter what they say…My transformation is too important…And too valuable…To be knocked down by their words…
Sometimes we feel like we already have so much more than everyone else and we feel bad about going after our goals.
Today we are going to tap to recognize it is okay for us to pursue our goals even when we have more than others.
There’s a part of me that wants to pursue my goals…There’s a part of me that really wants to move forward…There’s a part of me that’s really seeking to be successful…Knowing that if I am successful, I’ll be able to share what I have…And at the exact same time, I recognize the fact that many don’t have what I have…They don’t have the opportunities…They don’t have the support…They don’t have the resources…I have so many more opportunities than so many people…And sometimes there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel like I’m worthy of pursuing something bigger…Because I already have so much…But not pursuing my goals…And not trying…Does not serve anyone…Me not making effort does not make it easier for others…I have permission to pursue my goals…I have permission to move forward…Because when I move forward…I serve myself…And I serve the greater good…