Even though life may not be perfect right now, it is manageable. We know what to expect and we have established ways of responding.
Achieving our goals brings new and sometimes unpredictable things into our lives, which can be complicated. When we anticipate this complexity it can hold us back from taking action because we want life to be easy.
Today we are going to tap for the worry of life becoming more complicated after achieving our goals.
No goal that we create will be the be all and end all goal. Not matter what we achieve we will want something more soon afterwards.
Knowing this, it’s easy to become demotivated about our current goals because they feel less worthwhile if we are just going to want something else right after achieving them.
Today we are going to tap on recognizing the value of our current goals even though we recognize that there will be more goals and dreams that follow.
Things often don’t work out as planned. We don’t do things as well as we would like and we encounter unexpected obstacles along the way. Our progress feels frustratingly slow when this happens.
Today we are going to tap for when we feel like we are taking one step forward followed by two steps back.
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Learning new things is great. It helps us to grow, move forward, and become more self-sufficient. Unfortunately, we can (or others can) feel like we always need to be learning something new. Once we have gained one skill there is a pull to learn another.
Today we are going to tap for the concern that learning something new will only create the need to learn something else new.
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Every time we are successful at something new we prove to ourselves and others of what we are capable. But just because we achieved something once doesn’t mean that it was easy to do or that it will be easy to repeat.
One of the fears we have when striving for new things is that others will always expect us to live up to that high standard.
Today we are going to tap for the fear that success will raise others’ expectations of us.
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Making progress is really encouraging. We feel better about ourselves and it gives us momentum to take more action.
One of the side effects of our success is that others may raise their expectations of us.
This can be both flattering and feel like a burden. Part of us can be fearful that others will expect this new level of success from us all the time.
Today we are going to tap for the fear that others will expect more from us if we succeed today.
It is good to have goals that we care about, but sometimes we care so much that reaching them consumes us, filling our thoughts night and day. When this happens our goals take on much more significance than is appropriate and we set ourselves up for a major letdown when we don’t reach them.
Today we are going to tap for when we let our desire to reach our goals become too big.
I am very comfortable being who I am right now. Even though it is so much less than what I think I can be, it is predictable. I know what others expect of me and I know what to expect from myself.
As we pursue our goals and evolve into something new we can be concerned that we don’t know how to act as our new self. This seems like an unlikely reason to be holding ourselves back, but I have found with myself and my clients that this fear is a powerful motivator for not taking action.
What If I Don’t Know How To Be The New Me?
(audio 3m05s)
I’m glad I’m moving forward…I’m glad I’m making progress…I’m glad transformation is happening…And that I’m shedding old patterns…And moving forward in a healthy way…But I’m concerned…As I start to see myself in a new way…As I start to see the world in a new way…I’m going to act differently…All the old habits…Many of the old ways of seeing the world…Are being released with the old beliefs…And now as I navigate the world…I have to do it in a new way…New is scary…Different is scary…But I give myself permission…That with the transformation…I’m gaining resources…And ability…To navigate this world in a new way…So even though I don’t know exactly what to do…I can respond to the new way…And as I start to act in new ways… I will continue to grow into the new me…Making it even easier…To take on the new and different… Transformation is a process…I don’t have to get it right in the first try…It’s OK as I learn my way…Into the new ways of acting.
It seems silly that we would be afraid of achieving success.
It is one of the biggest fears I see in my clients when it comes to short circuiting their success.
When we succeed we can raise the expectations of others and this can be scary. When we fear this we will make sure that we fail.
Let’s tap for worrying about raising others’ expectations.
Fear Of Being Successful
(audio 4m17s)
I want to be successful…I want to move forward…I want to achieve my goals… I want life to be better…I want life to be fuller…I want life to be richer…But for some reason… success is scary…When I’m successful, I raise other people’s expectations…When I’m successful, I raise my own expectations…When I’m successful, I taste the good life…And it’s possible to lose it…And the pain of knowing better and then losing it…Feels like it’s so much worse…Than never experiencing the pleasure of success at all…When things go well…There’s always the sense…That the other shoe is going to drop…And if I’m successful…I will be constantly looking over my shoulder…For that other thing to go wrong…But I give myself permission…To recognize I can manage success…I can enjoy success…Without feeling overburdened by new expectations…Without feeling overburdened by others’ expectations…Without feeling overburdened of the fear of losing success…It’s possible I might have success and lose it…But since I achieved it once…I know I can achieve it again…And again…And again…Success will change my life…It will bring new things…The unknown can be scary…But I can manage these new and different things…Nice big deep breath.
I hear from clients all the time that they just want to share their gifts with the world. They know they are called to do more or offer more. The work we do on their self sabotage is to help them to share their gifts more widely.
But what if you don’t know what your gifts are?
Today we are going to tap for discovering our gifts and/or seeing them more clearly.
Figuring Out What Our Gifts Are
(audio 3m45s)
I want to use my gifts…I want to share my gifts…I want others to profit from my gifts…
I don’t want to squander my gifts…And that’s a really lovely idea…But there are times when I don’t know what my gifts are…I can’t see them clearly…And I can’t see how they fit into the world…And when this happens…It’s really frustrating…I feel like I’m wasting time…And I’m wasting opportunity…Because this moment can’t be here again…And if I don’t use my gifts right now…It was a waste…But the biggest gift I have…Is the gift of my intention…And the gift of my presence…And even if I don’t know my exact gifts… And even if I don’t know how to use what I have…In this particular moment…By being present to this moment…By being fully present to this moment…I will recognize opportunity…And I will recognize inspiration…I will use what I have…To respond to right now…Even if I don’t know my exact gifts…And even if I’m not using what I do best in this moment…That is much less important…Than my presence to this moment…
How I respond…And how I’m present…If I do that…Through opportunity and inspiration…My gifts will reveal themselves…And I will know which one to use now.