Tag: 1.07

We want to be responsible for our own success. We want it to feel like we have earned it all by our own effort.

Because of this we don’t ask for help.

But we don’t have to do it all! Sometimes we need help and it is OK to ask for help.

Today we are going to tap for being easy with ourselves when it comes to reaching out for help.

If I Don’t Do (Or Know How To Do) Everything For My Success I Have Failed
(audio 3m57s)

I want to be successful…I want to be responsible for my own success…I want to know that I worked really hard…And to have the sense that I have earned all of this…But there’s a part of me…That feels like the only way…That this can happen…Is if I am doing it all…If I am doing everything…Because if I don’t…Then it’s not my success…It’s someone else’s success…It’s something that’s been handed to me…It’s not about me…But I don’t expect myself to grow my own food…I don’t expect myself to make my own clothes…I don’t expect myself to fix my own car…I don’t expect myself to build my own house…There are lots of things that I get help with…And getting help as I move towards my goals…Especially with the things that I don’t know how to do…The things I’m not very skilled at…And the things that I don’t want to do…Will save me time…Will save me effort…Will give me the opportunity…To concentrate on the things…That are truly my genius…The things that I am made for…The things that I am about…It is not a failing to get help…It is not a failing to reach out…It is not a failing to hand over the things to someone else…When it is their specialty…The success can be mine…Even if I don’t do it all…The success can be mine…Even if I don’t understand it all…It simply matters that…I’m doing what I can…And I’m getting help with what I can’t…It’s not a failure…That’s being smart.

One of the things I struggle with is being able to ask for help. Asking for help can feel like a failure because if I am to claim my success then I feel should be achieving it on my own.

Today we tap for being easy with ourselves so that we can ask others for help.

Having Trouble Asking For Help
(audio 3m40s)

There’s a part of me…That doesn’t want to ask for help…And thinks that if I ask for help…I have failed…Because this is my journey…This is my process…I’m supposed to be doing this on my own…If anyone helps me…It must be because I’m weak…It must be because I’m incapable…It must be because I’m unworthy…Of any sort of success…But there are lots of things in my life…That I ask for help with every single day…I don’t make my own clothes…I don’t build my own car…I don’t grow my own food…There are lots of things…That other people help me with…That are out of my genius…That are out of my expertise…But are necessary for me to be successful…It’s OK for me to ask for help…It’s good for me to ask for help…When I ask for help…I get things done sooner…I get things done quicker…I get things done with less effort…When I ask for help…I put myself into a position…To have somebody else…Share their gifts with me…In such a way…That will help to propel me forward…Asking for help isn’t failing…Asking for help isn’t giving up…Asking for help isn’t saying I’m not enough…Asking for help is merely stating…That I’m moving forward…In such a way…That I’m concentrating on what I can work on…What I know…And what is my genius…Getting help doesn’t mean that I am weak…Getting help doesn’t mean that I am incapable…It means I’m smart…It means I’m efficient…It means I’ll move to my goals much faster.

It is really easy to get caught up in what others think about us, our effort, our work, and our goals.

When we worry about what others think we become hesitant and stop making progress.

Today we tap to clear our concerns about what others think of us and our goals.

The Opinions Of Others Do Not Define Me
(audio 4m33s)

I’m glad I have people in my life…I’m glad I have people in my life who are aware of my choices…Who know what I’m striving for…Who know what I’m striving to be…There are going to be times…When the people in my life…Do not support the work that I do…Do not like the choices I make…And that might be because they think they’re the wrong choices…Or it might be that my choices are making them uncomfortable…My growing and stretching…Shines a light on the fact that they are no longer growing and stretching…So that I become hesitant in my choices…Because I don’t want to be judged…I don’t want them to think I’m making a mistake…I don’t want them to think badly of me…I don’t want them to be uncomfortable…And it is good…That there is a part of me…That is trying to be thoughtful…And considerate of others…But I need to make the choices that are right for me…I need to make these choices with confidence…I need to move forward comfortably…I need to know that it is OK…And as I move forward…I’m doing it to become the best me…And it would be great…If everybody in my life loved and supported all of my choices…Appreciated everything that I was doing…But that’s not going to happen…Because my choices are not their choices…And I give myself permission…To know that I don’t have to please everyone…With every one of my choices…I don’t have to make everyone comfortable…With all of my choices…I give myself permission…To take the choice boldly…That are right for me…As I move forward…In big and small ways…I can make the choices I need to make…Not wanting to run over other people’s feelings…But knowing I need to be me…I’m responsible for me…They’re responsible for themselves…It’s good that I’m thoughtful…It’s good that I am considerate…But my choices…Need to be the choices that are right for me.

I have lived a good life. I have never gone without. Mine is a loving family and my parents are still married. I have always had what I needed and I know that I am blessed.

I never would have used the word abandoned to describe any part of my experience.

Yet when I thought about tapping for it I was overcome with sadness.

Even if you have never thought of yourself as abandoned you should tap along to this audio.

When We Feel Abandoned
(audio 4m05s)

There’s a part of me…That when I tune into the idea of being abandoned…Really strikes a chord with that idea of being abandoned…And it’s not necessarily a specific memory for me…There’s not a specific moment…But there’s a heaviness…And there’s a sadness…And any time sadness shows up…It’s most often connected to…Missing something that’s important…Missing something that’s valuable…And there’s a part of me…That feels like I’ve lost something that’s important…It feels like I’m disconnected and abandoned…Even if I can’t necessarily name what that is…I am not alone…I am not disconnected…I am moving forward…And filling my life with what I need…And filling my life with what is important….And that sense of sadness…And that sense of feeling abandoned…It’s just the part of me…That wants connection…That wants better…That wants more…That part of me that feels abandoned…And that sadness that comes with it…I want it to know it’s heard loud and clear…I want it to know that it is fully integrated and connected…Even though it felt unsafe…It is now safe…Even though it feels like it was left alone…I am now connecting…In big and small ways…I’m now connecting…That part of me that feels like it was left behind…I acknowledge it…I love it…I feel connected to it…Even if I felt left…I want that part of me to know…It’s now loved.

It is easy to be motivated when we are in pain because we want to be pain free.

It is easy to be motivated when we are close to our goal because we can almost taste success.

The hardest time to move is when we are in the comfortable middle. It is not what we want, but it isn’t so painful that we are motivated to push forward.

To step out of this comfort zone is scary because it means we could lose comfort.

Let’s tap for the courage to step out of our comfort zone today.

Stepping Out Of The Comfort Of Today
(audio 3m40s)

I’m enjoying my life…I recognize I have a lot of good things…I’m not fighting for survival…I’m not fighting off danger at every moment…I have what I need to get by…But that isn’t necessarily enough…I have dreams…I have goals…I have aspirations…I want to move forward…But that means I’m going to have to leave my comfort zone…And there’s a part of me that does not want to leave my comfort zone…There’s a part of me that wants to stay right here…There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to transition…Because trying to transition is work…And work can be painful…And work can lead to failure…The part of me that wants to stay in this comfort zone…Is trying to take care of me…Is trying to make my day pain-free…And I appreciate the fact that it’s doing that…That it’s trying to keep me safe…But, today, I give myself permission…To step out of my comfort zone…To try something new…To try something I’m not going to be perfect at…That’s going to move me towards my goal…Because even though I’m experiencing this…I want to move forward…And I want to have more…I give myself permission to step out…Knowing that the rewards of stepping out…Outweigh the risk…Because those rewards are going to be lasting.

My life is far from typical. I make choices that most people won’t make. Because of this loved ones have questioned my choices (and my sanity).

It can be hard enough trying something new. It gets even harder when we worry that the people in our lives will think our goals and dreams are foolish.

Today we tap for people judging what we are trying as silly and foolish.

Permission To Quit
(audio 3m40s)

I have a sense of what I want…Even if it isn’t a perfect picture…I know the direction I’m heading…And the goals that I have…Are my goals…They’re personal goals…They’re about me…And about who I want to be…They’re not about anyone else…And when I state my goals…Others may not think they’re very good…Some people will think they’re foolish…Some people will think that they are a waste of time…Some people will think that they’re just stupid…They might even tell me that…They might even make fun of me…My goals are about me…My goals are about making my life better…My goals are about making my life richer…My goals are about making my life full of joy… It does not matter what other people think about my goals…It doesn’t matter if they think they’re foolish…It doesn’t even matter if they say they’re foolish…My goals are about me…They’re not about them…My goals are about my joy…They’re not about them…It doesn’t matter…What they think…What matters is what I think…What matters is what is right for me…What matters are my goals and my life.

One of the things that holds me back from moving forward is being worried about what other people will think.

I worry that the people in my life will see me try something new, see me mess it up, and then judge me as a failure.

Today we tap for worrying about the judgement of others.

Others Judge
(audio 4m10s)

I want to be successful…I want to move forward…I want change…I want transformation…I want my life to be better…In order to do that, I’m going to have to try…I’m going to have to put myself out there…I’m going to have to do things I haven’t done before…And it’s possible I might fail…It’s possible I might get it wrong…It’s possible that people will judge me…It’s possible they’re going to look at me and laugh…They’re going to see my failure…And they’re going to think I’m a failure…They’re going to see my mistakes…And they’re going to think I was mistaken even to try…But my transformation is about me…It’s not about them…My transformation is about moving forward…It’s about my change…Often people make us feel little when we try…Because they’re afraid to try themselves…And it makes them feel better by making us feel small…This is my work…This is my effort…This is my opportunity to move forward…What’s important is that I try…By putting forth the effort…So that I continue to move forward…It doesn’t matter what they think…It doesn’t matter what they say…My transformation is too important…And too valuable…To be knocked down by their words…