In my experience, internal peace is not something that happens at the flip of a switch. As Lyndon B. Johnson said, “Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.”
Just because it is a long journey it doesn’t mean that we don’t see the fruits of that work until we reach the end of the journey.
With each step we take we have more peace in our life.
Today we are are going to tap for being gentle with ourselves as we work through this process.
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As we become aware of the all the work we need to do to clear out the emotional blocks and limiting beliefs that are holding us back it can feel really daunting. So daunting that we don’t want to risk diving in to start on the work because it just seems too painful.
Today we are going to tap for feeling overwhelmed by the number of issues we feel we need to clear.
It can be hard when we are looking to make big changes in our life because they take time. Often we are making progress, but the fruits of that progress are not yet evident. Even though we know we are taking the steps we need to move forward it can still feel like we are spinning our wheels.
Today we are going to tap for how not making progress fast enough can be discouraging and dampen our motivation.
Tonight we talked about how to tap for forgive ourselves and others.
Remember – Forgiveness is NOT:
Teaching Call August 13th: Forgiveness
Call Date: Aug 13th, 2013
[Note: There are a number of great tools on the site. It is important to note that not all tools will work with every issue and every type of goal. This week’s tool is a perfect example. It contains a powerful concept, but it is not perfect for every goal you are trying to achieve. For example, this approach won’t be the most helpful if your main goal is to find a long-term, lasting relationship, but is great if you are trying to develop a habit, like getting into shape.
These tools are not one size fits all. I would encourage you to be thoughtful in choosing which tool to use for each issue and goal. That is why there are so many!]
Something really interesting has happened to me since I moved to Brooklyn. I have been cooking for myself more, choosing to prepare healthier food, and I have been learning how to make lots of fun new meals.
I am really happy with this change, but this wasn’t a goal I set out to achieve. Being healthier has been a goal of mine since the beginning of the year, but cooking more healthy food and trying out new dishes was not.
The change has taken place because of the neighborhood I have moved into. When I tell my New York friends where I am living they all say, “You are lucky to live near so many amazing restaurants!”
And it is true. On Thursday night I was out for my evening walk and I passed 23 restaurants I wanted to try just on one street. And it wasn’t even the part of my area with the highest concentration of restaurants!
The simple fact that I am being exposed to higher quality and healthier food every day is inspiring me to eat and cook more healthily.
This is true for all parts of our lives. The people, worldviews, and experiences to which we are most exposed are those we will continue to seek out.
Entrepreneur Jim Rohn often repeated that, “We are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with.”
Even if this is not literally true there is a great deal of truth in the statement. Bearing this in mind we can consciously choose to fill our lives with more of what we would like to show up in the future.
Today’s tool is very simple.
1) Choose one of the goals you are working towards. It could be about health, work, relationships, or your spiritual path. Make sure it is a goal for which you have a clear vision of exactly what you want.
2) Brainstorm a list of 5 people, places, or experiences where people are having what you would like in your own life. If you can come up with more than 5 that would be great, but make sure you come up with at least 5.
3) Make a plan to contact two people who have what you want and arrange to spend some time with them. Talking to them about your goal is not a requirement. Just being around them will be helpful and encouraging as you see what is possible.
[NOTE: If you are having a hard time reaching out to people here are bunch of tap-along audios to help you be more comfortable reaching out: tap-along audios]
It is really easy to look at the world and notice only the things that bring a sense of disharmony in our lives. I like William Hazlitt’s thought, “Those who are at war with others are not at peace with themselves.”
The place we need to start our work is to work on finding peace within ourselves.
Today we are going to tap for finding that internal sense of peace.
It is good to have goals that we care about, but sometimes we care so much that reaching them consumes us, filling our thoughts night and day. When this happens our goals take on much more significance than is appropriate and we set ourselves up for a major letdown when we don’t reach them.
Today we are going to tap for when we let our desire to reach our goals become too big.
When we work for a long time towards a goal but don’t make the progress we would like it can be easy to lose motivation. When this happens we can get so frustrated that it feels like we no longer care if we reach our goal or not. The work we are doing seems so fruitless that we just don’t want to try anything else.
Today we are going to tap for when we lose our motivation and just don’t care if we get there or not.
Strong emotional responses in the moment make it hard for us to make good choices dealing with difficult situations. No matter what steps we had planned ahead of time if we are all of a sudden hit with strong emotions (frustration, anger, overwhelm) then we will fall back into old patterns and habits.
Here is quick formula to help you tap for emotions in the moment you feel them. To us the tool all you need to do is fill in bracketed areas with what you are feeling in this 5-step formula, then tap while you read the steps out loud.
1) Right now I am feeling [emotion].
2) I don’t like feeling [emotion] because [reason you don’t like feeling the emotion].
3) I want to thank the [emotion] for being present. It is trying to be helpful but right now it is over reacting.
4) The reason I am feeling [emotion] is because [reason for the emotion in as much detail as possible].
5) Instead of feeling [emotion] I would rather feel [new state and point of view you would like to feel, such as “calm and centred,” “that I am seeing things clearly,” “confident in the choice I’m making,” “comfortable in my own skin” etc].
It is really that simple. This process might not knock the emotion out completely, but it will at least create enough emotional space in the moment to make good choices.
I would recommend you write the formula down on a notecard and put in your backpack, bag, or purse. When you find yourself emotionally overwhelmed just excuse yourself to the restroom, take out the card, and tap.
I love Hans Urs von Balthasar (and not just because his name is fun to say). My favorite quote of his is: “What you are is God’s gift to you, what you become is your gift to God.”
Today we are going to tap for being open to becoming what we can be and how our life can be a gift.
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