Sometimes we feel like the victim of our own success. Because we are capable and competent at one thing it is easy for others to expect us to be capable and competent at all things.
Today we are going to tap for feeling pressure to be good at everything.
Sometimes we can see that we failed at something. At other times where we feel like we ARE a failure.
Failure is not an outcome of something we attempted, but who we are. We feel like we are a failure.
When we feel like a failure it is really hard to take action because we feel hopeless.
Today we are going to tap for when we feel like we are a failure.
Our loved ones can be our harshest critics. It might be because they can feel liberated to criticize because they are so close to us. It might have to do with the fact that they feel uncomfortable by our effort to move forward.
Regardless why it happen, it can be really hard when we are judged by those close to us.
Today we are going to tap for the emotions that come with the harsh critique of our loved ones.
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When we move to take action there are few guarantees. Things might work out and they might not.
Today we are going to tap for when the worry about something not working is greater than the hope that it will.
When we are taking on new tasks we will encounter some things we don’t know how to do. The easiest path achieving these is asking for help.
There are times we don’t want to ask for help because we have to admit that we don’t know how to do something. It can be hard letting others know that we don’t know something. That can be embarrassing.
Today we are going to tap for the worry around others judging us when we admit we don’t know something.
When we set out to do something we have never done before there will be lots of steps and tasks that are new to us.
In this circumstance it is easy to be self-conscious about looking like we don’t know what we are doing.
Today we are going to tap for fear of being judged as we taken on things that are new to us.
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One of the things I struggle with is being able to ask for help. Asking for help can feel like a failure because if I am to claim my success then I feel should be achieving it on my own.
Today we tap for being easy with ourselves so that we can ask others for help.
Having Trouble Asking For Help
(audio 3m40s)
There’s a part of me…That doesn’t want to ask for help…And thinks that if I ask for help…I have failed…Because this is my journey…This is my process…I’m supposed to be doing this on my own…If anyone helps me…It must be because I’m weak…It must be because I’m incapable…It must be because I’m unworthy…Of any sort of success…But there are lots of things in my life…That I ask for help with every single day…I don’t make my own clothes…I don’t build my own car…I don’t grow my own food…There are lots of things…That other people help me with…That are out of my genius…That are out of my expertise…But are necessary for me to be successful…It’s OK for me to ask for help…It’s good for me to ask for help…When I ask for help…I get things done sooner…I get things done quicker…I get things done with less effort…When I ask for help…I put myself into a position…To have somebody else…Share their gifts with me…In such a way…That will help to propel me forward…Asking for help isn’t failing…Asking for help isn’t giving up…Asking for help isn’t saying I’m not enough…Asking for help is merely stating…That I’m moving forward…In such a way…That I’m concentrating on what I can work on…What I know…And what is my genius…Getting help doesn’t mean that I am weak…Getting help doesn’t mean that I am incapable…It means I’m smart…It means I’m efficient…It means I’ll move to my goals much faster.
It is really easy to get caught up in what others think about us, our effort, our work, and our goals.
When we worry about what others think we become hesitant and stop making progress.
Today we tap to clear our concerns about what others think of us and our goals.
The Opinions Of Others Do Not Define Me
(audio 4m33s)
I’m glad I have people in my life…I’m glad I have people in my life who are aware of my choices…Who know what I’m striving for…Who know what I’m striving to be…There are going to be times…When the people in my life…Do not support the work that I do…Do not like the choices I make…And that might be because they think they’re the wrong choices…Or it might be that my choices are making them uncomfortable…My growing and stretching…Shines a light on the fact that they are no longer growing and stretching…So that I become hesitant in my choices…Because I don’t want to be judged…I don’t want them to think I’m making a mistake…I don’t want them to think badly of me…I don’t want them to be uncomfortable…And it is good…That there is a part of me…That is trying to be thoughtful…And considerate of others…But I need to make the choices that are right for me…I need to make these choices with confidence…I need to move forward comfortably…I need to know that it is OK…And as I move forward…I’m doing it to become the best me…And it would be great…If everybody in my life loved and supported all of my choices…Appreciated everything that I was doing…But that’s not going to happen…Because my choices are not their choices…And I give myself permission…To know that I don’t have to please everyone…With every one of my choices…I don’t have to make everyone comfortable…With all of my choices…I give myself permission…To take the choice boldly…That are right for me…As I move forward…In big and small ways…I can make the choices I need to make…Not wanting to run over other people’s feelings…But knowing I need to be me…I’m responsible for me…They’re responsible for themselves…It’s good that I’m thoughtful…It’s good that I am considerate…But my choices…Need to be the choices that are right for me.
My life is far from typical. I make choices that most people won’t make. Because of this loved ones have questioned my choices (and my sanity).
It can be hard enough trying something new. It gets even harder when we worry that the people in our lives will think our goals and dreams are foolish.
Today we tap for people judging what we are trying as silly and foolish.
Permission To Quit
(audio 3m40s)
I have a sense of what I want…Even if it isn’t a perfect picture…I know the direction I’m heading…And the goals that I have…Are my goals…They’re personal goals…They’re about me…And about who I want to be…They’re not about anyone else…And when I state my goals…Others may not think they’re very good…Some people will think they’re foolish…Some people will think that they are a waste of time…Some people will think that they’re just stupid…They might even tell me that…They might even make fun of me…My goals are about me…My goals are about making my life better…My goals are about making my life richer…My goals are about making my life full of joy… It does not matter what other people think about my goals…It doesn’t matter if they think they’re foolish…It doesn’t even matter if they say they’re foolish…My goals are about me…They’re not about them…My goals are about my joy…They’re not about them…It doesn’t matter…What they think…What matters is what I think…What matters is what is right for me…What matters are my goals and my life.
One of the things that holds me back from moving forward is being worried about what other people will think.
I worry that the people in my life will see me try something new, see me mess it up, and then judge me as a failure.
Today we tap for worrying about the judgement of others.
Others Judge
(audio 4m10s)
I want to be successful…I want to move forward…I want change…I want transformation…I want my life to be better…In order to do that, I’m going to have to try…I’m going to have to put myself out there…I’m going to have to do things I haven’t done before…And it’s possible I might fail…It’s possible I might get it wrong…It’s possible that people will judge me…It’s possible they’re going to look at me and laugh…They’re going to see my failure…And they’re going to think I’m a failure…They’re going to see my mistakes…And they’re going to think I was mistaken even to try…But my transformation is about me…It’s not about them…My transformation is about moving forward…It’s about my change…Often people make us feel little when we try…Because they’re afraid to try themselves…And it makes them feel better by making us feel small…This is my work…This is my effort…This is my opportunity to move forward…What’s important is that I try…By putting forth the effort…So that I continue to move forward…It doesn’t matter what they think…It doesn’t matter what they say…My transformation is too important…And too valuable…To be knocked down by their words…