To put it really simply: Failure is no fun!
And because it is no fun we want to avoid it. One of the easiest ways to avoid failure is simply not to try anything.
Today we are going to tap for the resistance to taking action because we are trying to avoid the pain of failure.
Failure Is No Fun
(audio 4m11s)
I recognize the fact that failure is no fun…It’s no fun for things not to work out…It’s no fun to feel inadequate…It’s no fun to feel like I’ve wasted energy…It’s no fun to feel like I’ve wasted effort…It’s no fun to feel like I’ve wasted time…But I recognize the fact that all the progress I’ve ever had in my life…Every action I’ve ever taken…Had the possibility of failure on the other side…And so it was a little bit of a risk…It was a little bit of a gamble…But for all of the success that I’ve had…It has been worth it to risk failure…It has been worth it to risk things not working out…Failure stinks…But staying stuck where I am stinks more…Failure can be painful…But not moving forward is more painful…Just because failure is a possibility…Does not mean failure is a probability…Just because failure might happen…Doesn’t mean failure will happen…I give myself permission…To acknowledge failure for what it is…Something that really stinks…Something that is no fun…But failure isn’t the end of the story…And failure isn’t what I always experience…My failures are just more memorable…Like when I walk down steps…I don’t remember all my successful trips…Moving effortlessly down the steps…I only remember the times I fell…This is no different…My fear of failure…Is a disproportionate memory of how much failure there is…Even though failure stinks…Even though failure is painful…Success is on the other side…Success is coming to me.
Maybe I need to give myself permission to also remember the successes? To remember the depth of pleasure when I succeed, as well as the depth of pain when I fail? To remember the expandingness of the successes, and well as the constrictingness of the failures?
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I don’t remember being given this sort of permission from outside myself in my youth. Rather, I remember it’s being discouraged as the sin of Pride, and as an invitation to the coming of even greater failures than previously experienced (“Pride goeth before a Fall.”) The ever-presence of pain and avoidance of pain were more likely to be taught.
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So, maybe I need to give myself this permission, from within.