In order to pursue our goals we need to spend time, emotion, and energy to make those goals happen.
This might mean that we stop doing other tasks and spend less time with the people in our lives. As much as our loved ones want what is best for us, they sometimes push back on us for trying to achieve our goals. They might even think or call us selfish for doing something for ourselves.
Today we are going to tap for the fear that others will perceive us as selfish for doing something for ourselves.
Other Will Think I Am Selfish For Pursuing My Goals
(audio 4m33s)
There’s a part of me…That is worried if…I invest time in my goals…Other people are going to judge me…Other people are going to think I’m being selfish…Because I’m changing the way…I am investing my time and my energy…They are going to think…That I’m only thinking of myself…That I’m no longer thinking of them…That I’m no longer thinking of others…And the truth is…Spending time working towards my goals…Is selfish…Because working towards my goals…Is about defining myself…As who I want to be…But just because it is selfish…It does not mean that it’s bad…Selfish does not equal bad…I make self-defining choices all of the time…Eating lunch is selfish…Getting a good night sleep is selfish…Making sure I take a nice, big deep breath is being selfish…There are lots of things that I do day and night…That are selfish…And many times when people judge us as being selfish…They’re doing that because they’re losing out…They are being selfish about our time…They are being selfish about our talent…They want to hoard our efforts all to themselves…And the fact that they might be losing that…Means that they’re going to lash out at us…Means that they’re going to feel bad…And the way they fight back…Is to call us selfish…Because if they call us selfish…And we feel bad about it…We will return to our old ways…Which might not be serving us…But it’s serving them…People might call us selfish…For doing things that take care of us…But just because we’re doing something selfish…Doesn’t mean we’re doing something bad…When I pursue my goals…In a dedicated way…Some might call it selfish…I call it moving towards what is best for me.
Such a great issue to address Gene. I was called selfish about 18 months ago after making some changes internally and externally in my life. I had enough insight at the time to know that it was about the other person wanting me to return to old ways that served them. I did not return to those old ways and eventually ended contact with that person. Now I have people in my circle of friends who congratulate me for making ‘selfish’ choices as they do the same and for the right reasons.
Big thumbs up for airing this issue. A big part of learning self-care is un-learning self-guilt for self-care. Thanks for this!